If you’re reading this, you may be considering having two kids super close in age or maybe you’ve already done this! Or maybe you just enjoy my content and are giving me a view. For that, I’m very grateful. 🙂
Before having kids, my husband and I knew we wanted our kids close together. We liked the idea of having all our kids in similar stages in life and then once they’re done, we’re done with that stage for good. For example, having all in diapers versus waiting until one is done before starting it again. Just our opinion. We also like the idea of the kids having a built-in best friend. Having two kids super close together kind of forces friendship haha. And, it makes it easier for them to get along and be close if they’re in similar seasons in life (ex. same school, both having jobs, etc.). We both didn’t have a sibling within 5 years or less in age with us and we both feel that limits the friendship between you at least somewhat because you’re in such polar opposite stages in life.
My eldest is 18 months and my second is 4 months. So, I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was only 5 months old.
I’m only 4 months into this having two kids thing, but here are a couple things I’ve learned in the past 4 months.
GRACE
You must extend grace to yourself. You might not be super early to events like you used to. You might have to have your oldest watch some tv while you’re feeding & taking care of the newborn. You won’t always have a clean house. And it’s okay. I find that it’s easy to show others grace but hard to extend it to myself… let’s change that. I’m speaking so much to myself right now because this is CHALLENGING for me. I want to be super mom and do all the things all the time, but it’s just not feasible. And that’s okay!
Your toddler also needs grace. They’re learning what it’s like to share their mom and dad, something they’ve never had to do before. They might act out a bit more & that’s just their way to get your attention. They still need you and they don’t fully understand the attention and time a newborn needs (especially if breastfed) from their mom. They’ll learn just like how you’re learning.
SLOW DOWN
It’s okay to take a while to ease into routine. I thrive off routine & it’s hard for me to be out of it, but having a second child, no matter the age gap, requires adjusting. And adjusting takes time- for the whole family. Have slower days. Your body & mental health both need those. Don’t force yourself into doing all the things you were doing before the baby right away; it takes time.
IT’S HARD
I never want to portray things differently than they are & the truth is, having 2 kids under 2 years old is very difficult. But, I remind myself often of the blessing and how rewarding it truly is (and will be as they get older). But, it will test your patience daily. You will have super challenging days that make you question what you got yourself into. But the good days far outweigh the hard ones.
ONE KID IS A BREEZE
After having 2 kids, you truly look back and think about how easy it was when you only had to dress one kid, change diapers for one kid, get one kid out the door, etc. In the moment it might seem like a lot, but once you have a 2nd, that will seem so simple.
IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL
Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it can’t also be beautiful. Seeing my kids interact melts my heart. My son loves his baby sis so much & she’s starting to smile at him which is just such a blessing. When we’re out as a family of FOUR now, I can’t help but smile because I’m living the life I always dreamed of. Family is so beautiful and I can’t believe I’m a mom and get the privilege of raising these 2 wonderful children.
ASK FOR HELP
I am a huge advocate for asking for help. My parents love to take my son overnight and spend that quality time with him, but I find that it’s challenging for me to straight out ask because I don’t like to be seen like I can’t do it or it’s hard. But in reality, people want to help. Raising kids takes a village! And I want my family & friends to be involved in my kids’ lives so it’s a blessing for them to watch the kids while simultaneously helping me out.
I NEED REST
As a parent, it’s easy to rest once your body is so exhausted and worn out instead of prioritizing it BEFORE it gets to be an issue. But the truth is, Jesus rested. He taught us that rest is not for when we’re burnt out; it’s for our good for right NOW. Prioritize time by yourself because you’ll be a better mom for it.
DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST
This seems obvious, but you’ll get a lot of opinions from people. You’re their mom. Do what you feel is best for your kiddos. If that’s formula instead of breastfeeding or daycare instead of being home, it’s up to you and what you think is best for your kids. No one else is these kids’ mom except YOU!
EVERYTHING TAKES LONGER
I didn’t truly realize how long it would take to simply get out the door with 2 littles. I’m a very Type A, punctual person, so it stresses me out if I’m running a little behind. You’ll eventually get into a rhythm, but dang, it’s a feat! My husband is a pastor, so Sunday’s & Wednesday’s, I’m getting out the door for church by myself and it really makes me thankful for my husband as an extra set of hands because it takes much longer to do it all on my own. With getting 2 kids and myself dressed, fed, changed, etc. I’m learning all the things to do to make it smoother for myself because I did not think about how challenging this would be.
FEEL THE WEIGHT OF BEING A PARENT
After having our second, I think the weight of being a parent really sunk in. And not in a bad way, but in a way that makes me realize how truly important being a parent is. Everyday is a new day for my kids to learn but also for me to learn and it’s something I never want to take for granted. It’s such an important job and we need parents who are willing to stand up for what’s right and teach their kids The Bible and not to be laid back about what is truth.
I’ve learned so many things as a mom of 2 under 2. It’s hard but it’s such a blessing. I remind myself often that raising kids is such a GIFT and that I’m so thankful we’ve never struggled to get pregnant. God is with you & this is the thick of it. I know I’ll look back and miss these ages so much, so I might as well enjoy it to the fullest.
Tia Marie
tia marie 