Why I Still Date My Husband

So, you’re married now. You’re done dating your boyfriend. They’re your spouse now! Yay!

Nope.

I mean, yes, be excited you’re married, but that doesn’t mean you’re done dating.

Let me explain…

Dating is really just a way to intentionally pursue someone you’re interested in. Are you done pursuing your husband just because you’re married? You shouldn’t be! People are ever-changing and you need to continue to learn about the one you chose to love forever.

Especially after you begin your family, you need quality time alone with your husband to connect. It can be easy to just go through your day and give your spouse the leftovers at the end of the night once kids are asleep. But that shouldn’t be how it is! How are you supposed to truly connect with someone when you have nothing left to give? The answer is, you can’t.

I truly believe that your husband needs to be your main priority. You can’t be the best mom you can be if you aren’t first and foremost connecting with your husband. I would hate if all our kids were older and out of the house and I looked over and didn’t recognize my husband anymore because we had grown out of connection. We had prioritized everything else over one another.

Now, you might be asking how this is possible once you have kids. And my answer is, it takes INTENTIONALITY. It doesn’t come easy. Your lives are so busy once you have kids and you’d have every excuse to say that you don’t have time, you’re too tired, blah blah blah. If you notice the importance of it, you’ll make the time. If something is a priority to you, you’ll work at it & make it happen. And my marriage is my top priority after my relationship with Jesus.

Here are some things you can do/ways to connect with your husband:

1. Go on a drive during kids’ naps so you can chat in a quiet car while they sleep. This is easy, doesn’t cost money, and doesn’t require a babysitter. This is a new thing we’ve recently tried and we love it. Sometimes we’ll do a pretty drive up the North Shore, other times we’ll go get ice cream, or starbucks.
2. Do an at-home date. Plan ahead of time to get kids to bed early and do a date at home. We love making a charcuterie board and either watching a movie, playing a board game, or just talking.
3. Do little things together. My husband and I love sitting on the couch and reading our books next to each other. We’ll occasionally stop and talk but it’s special even just to be next to one another even if we’re not doing it “together” per say.
4. Go on a date out of the house. Get a babysitter and go do something with your spouse. This could be a restaurant, exploring somewhere new, anything really!
5. Talk about your day. Almost every night at dinner, we’ll ask each other how our days were and talk about our highs and lows from the day. This is an easy way to make sure you’re connecting each day. It’s an easy thing to do at dinner and engage your kids in as well as they get older.
6. Laugh together. There’s something so special about laughing together & just enjoying one another’s company. Be your spouse’s best friend.

Don’t make excuses to stop connecting with your husband. It’s necessary. 🙂

Tia Marie