Do you remember being a kid and making friends? It was so easy!! You’d come home from the first day of school with a class full of “best friends” already! You’d attend their birthday parties, meet up on the playground, write notes, etc. All you had to do was be yourself and you made friends! It didn’t matter what you looked like, how smart you were, etc.
Then, you get older and life gets busier so you don’t have as much time to invest in friendships. Most of the time, your best friends are either from childhood (the few that you actually stay in touch with) or from your work. It becomes hard to 1) meet people you want to be friends with and 2) find the time to invest in those friendships, especially as you find a life partner and grow your family.
For me, I go all in or nothing when it comes to my friends. If someone is a close friend in my life, I want to keep in touch on a regular basis, write them cards, send them love gifts, be there to celebrate them, talk through difficult times with them, etc. And that takes a lot of work & intentionality! But, if you’re willing to put in the work, it’s so worth it. I would rather have just a couple really close friends than a lot of surface-level friends.
As a twenty-five year old mom of two kids, here are some ways I find community (& I’m still working. on it):
- Attend events. Now, as an introvert, this is hard! Somedays (let’s be real- most days), I just want to snuggle up with my family and be at home, but in order to meet people, you have to leave your house LOL. Go to mom’s groups or social gatherings where you think you’d like the crowd that would be attending or where you’d have similar interests/be in similar seasons of life.
- Don’t be afraid to be the one to reach out. It can be scary to reach out to someone, but do it! What can go wrong with that? They don’t become a best friend? Okay- then that’s not meant to be. Put yourself out there. Kind of similar to dating and ready to find a spouse, you have to make it known that you’re available. If you stay inside and aren’t friendly, people won’t know you’re interested. Go out for coffee, ask them over for dinner & board games, the options are endless.
- Attend church. I know not everyone reading this attends church, but for me, this is an ideal place to find a friend because most people I meet at church will be like-minded on beliefs and values and there’s something special about that; you can connect with them on a different level.
- Have people over for dinner. We’ve been inviting more people over since we moved a couple months ago because it’s a really nice way to get to know someone better. I love hosting people and showing the love of Jesus to people through a tasty meal.
- Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Don’t put on a facade and act differently. The right people will appreciate you for who you are. Be someone that others would enjoy to be around. If you are always unpresentable, stressed out, negative, sad, etc., people will not want to spend time around you.
Now, let’s take a quick peak at what the Bible says about community and the importance of it…
Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
John 15:12 “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Community is important. We all need people to do life with. I pray you can find those core circle friends.
Tia Marie
tia marie 