in january of 2020, i began having feelings of baby fever. we had been married for 5 months and expected to wait longer to begin our family, but i was hit with an overwhelming desire to start trying now. i went to my husband, but he did not exactly feel 100% ready yet; he told me he’d think & pray about it. a couple months later, he came to me and said he felt a ton of peace with the idea of starting our family. he felt ready. so then we entered the unknown world of trying to have a baby. and we have! pregnant with our 2nd actually. 🙂
but i write this to share how we knew we were ready if you’re someone on the fence about if this is the time for you or not.
- we didn’t begin trying until we were both 100% on the same page. this is crucial. you never ever want to enter a season that’s so big and life-changing if you both don’t want it with no doubts. as much as i personally felt ready in january, trevor wasn’t ready and i didn’t want to enter that season without his full support and peace as well. you never want to be on different pages when it comes to something as life-changing as having a baby. it’s a lot of work that requires both spouses to be fully committed and invested. so, i had to wait until we both felt ready- not just when i felt ready.
- talk to God about it. pray about it. i’ve learned that the Lord often speaks to us through a sense of peace. trevor and i both prayed about it and didn’t want a family then if that wasn’t what God wanted for us because he knows us best and has a plan for us. a lot can be said about feeling peace, one of the fruits of the spirit, and taking that as an indication from the Lord that you’re walking in step with his plan. we have stepped back from many things in life when the Lord has not given us peace about it.
- as much as it’s fun to say, “i feel ready so i must be ready,” you need to take into consideration your finances and the support/money needed to raise a child. also, the fact that unless you only want one child, having one will most likely lead to more sooner rather than later (unless you intentionally want large age gaps). that child will be in your home with you for 18+ years, so it shouldn’t be a decision made on a whim.
those are three things to help you decide if you and your spouse feel ready to start a family. there is no specific timeline needed. no pressure to have kids before you’re a certain age. God will make it clear to you when it’s time.
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